Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
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...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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