ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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