So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
they're like a gay fantastic four
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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