My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
