some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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