What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
