He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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