playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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