If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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