What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I did not marry a roomba.
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