Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
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I demand visitation hours with the duck.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
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It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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