I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
