really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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