we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
