Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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