Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
