butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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