this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
