he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
