thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
