I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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