I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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