I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
