I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
