as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
