Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
