What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
