the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
