Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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