does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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