Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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