Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
