Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it hurts more in the daytime
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
