Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
