Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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