Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
