seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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