I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
