Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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