party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill