Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
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i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
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Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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