He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.