We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.