I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize