belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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