Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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