I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Small penises have feelings too.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
