I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize