i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
