i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
