there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize