i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
