Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
