Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
