spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
