He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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