If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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