Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
