My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
