I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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