I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
