All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
