so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
